Transformations

 "We are the alchemists of our own transformations. The providers of the magic in our creation of moments and deeper awareness that may also be the alchemy of another who bears witness". cmh

After a yoga and meditation practice, the sweet notion came to me to crawl back into my bed with a steaming cup of hot tea, my pen, and my notebook in hand. The plan was to scratch down whatever popped up in my awareness today, which has become my practice these days with fewer opportunities to write, I grab a moment, get it down and release myself from the ownership of the words connected to thought.   For a moment I closed my eyes and nestled into the softness above, below, and surrounding me with a deep physical and mental release.  It was a delicious pause from my usual intentions in the morning and the rare gift of not having to be anywhere just yet with my companion for the morning taking an extra few minutes of sleep herself. With pen in hand and an array of thoughts paralyzing the movement of it toward the paper, I stared out of my bedroom window. The view landed on the largest and oldest maple tree.  The realization of its barren branches was a bit jarring since I had intended to watch the process unfold and now the tree was devoid of even a leaf.  This is the alchemy of the tree in Fall. We can't actually witness all of the leaves as they change and release and then suddenly the transformation is complete. The naked tree also transforms the space around, opening for a wider perspective of the entirety of the yard. I have always been in awe of the intelligence of trees to know when it is time to let go of their leaves and I  see them as the real alchemists of nature.

When I was six years old and attending  my first year of elementary school in Marysville, in a building that has now been transformed into a community center known as The Ville, I can remember being gathered in the library, to hear a story about Fall and then talk about how the leaves change color and eventually fall from the trees.  Seeing this more as magic than science, I paid closer attention than usual and when the teacher asked for a volunteer to share their understanding and summarize for our peers, I boldly offered. Coming from the shy girl who would rather become part of the inset bookshelves and remain invisible, the simple but eloquent words of my six-year-old self were nothing less than alchemy and if no one was paying close attention they would have missed this small step of my transformation out of my shell. 

Alchemy is defined as a seemingly magical process of transformation, or creation  Like the example of my backyard tree, there are so many times that transformations are significant, obvious, and maybe even life-changing and we can be left with jaw-dropping wonder about how this process occurred and our own explanation may be that there was some unexplained phenomenon that brought this about, a magic that we may have stopped believing in long ago. Most of the time personal transformations are more realistic like my experience in the library that day.  They are a result of the small steps taken, the practices we are dedicated to, the balance of input and output, effort, and ease. The process may be messy at times.  Often things break down or fall apart and then we gain a better understanding of how to create or transform something new and often better than before. Not all transformations for ourselves or the world we live in are creating new or better. Many currently are transformations that are taking us in the wrong direction, undoing progress or effective changes already made. Others are moving us away from growth and insight.   Contemplating alchemy and the process of our own transformation, the "seemingly magic" part of the process often gets lost for us and we miss the opportunity to celebrate where this journey has taken us.   The example of my own writing process is that I don't often witness the dedication and growth that comes just from picking up my pen,  and not from having a  consistent readership or encouragement but each time I write, seeking my own inner words of encouragement,  I become the alchemist of my personal transformation.  I am taking the lead,  as the true alchemist does,  which is my dedication to ordinary practices of creating, rest pauses, and  breath which becomes the matter that is accelerating all of our experiences of magic,  and turning it into the gold of growth. This growth fuels our light and healing like my small practice of pen to paper. Creating is always first and foremost for ourselves and for me a way to continue to acquaint myself with the woman and child inside.  Alchemy is created by and for us through all the steps that lead to transformation.  When we commit to a breath practice that we know transforms our anxiety into ease, not once but every time we need it.   When we practice combining the essential oils that somehow offer us relief from feelings of stress and come back to it over and over again. Whatever you have found that brings alchemy to your soul will be your transforming power.    Using what we know or what has been offered to us as science and a little magic,  to provide a shift in our physical, mental or emotional health, we are staying true to the alchemist within. 

Maybe you will find a moment this weekend where you too can honor all the steps you have taken, all the ways that you have transformed and grown and for a moment you will see how seemingly magic your own transformation continues to be and just like the naked tree, you will transform the space around you and open yourself to a wider perspective, to the entirety of your lived experience.