The Ripple Effect

"Just as ripples spread out when a single pebble is dropped into the water, the actions of individuals can have far-reaching effects." Dalai Lama

As soon as I open my eyes and it registers that I am indeed at my parent's cottage on the beautiful North Lake, I anticipate getting in my kayak in the early morning stillness. Often with a companion but both quiet enough so as to not wake anyone else as we tiptoe about preparing to go.   Once we are on the lake, we marvel at the appropriateness of the term,  just like glass, as my mother often said with pride about her little spot of the water.  There is no movement and one can see themselves reflecting in the stillness.   As the first paddle dips in, a ripple is created in the smoothness. This ripple moves out away from the boat extending farther than the eye can see and back to a mirrored surface of calm.   When we are in the center of the lake, we stop paddling and sit savoring a warm drink.  The nearby loon creates the next ripple as she dips below the surface. When she emerges her haunting call ripples across the entire body of water to be answered by another loon just out of sight.  Missing this sweet refuge in the Fall of the year as this would be the time we would frequent it most, I enjoy savoring this experience  I would have had numerous times over the years.   Sitting with the memory and the sensorial recall of my body and mind, it felt like  I was actually there. Although the ocean is where my heart is happiest, the calm of freshwater spaces cannot be matched and each ripple created by myself or nature as we paddle about brings a quality of presence that can't be found in many other places.

The lake is not the only place I have witnessed the beauty and power of the ripple in memory or real-time recently.  I watched Hollywood Stargirl with my daughters and we fell in love with the sequel to our original love of Stargirl.   The ripples she creates, by just being, are highlighted and unpacked so authentically.   Whether it was the grumpy older man she befriended in her new apartment complex or the spark created between her and her love interest or the woman she admires for her past artistry as a singer that everyone else views in a negative light,  or how she holds space for her mom and the challenges of being a single parent trying to pursue her own dreams or the subsequent connection she makes with her love interest's brother who is in need of her charisma, empathy, and confidence to fulfill his passion of creating a film,  she admirably moves with grace, love, and mercy throughout the film embodying the ripple effect.   Unlike other films with a character coming of age, there is very little drama, and a lot of ease and you fall in love with this character who is so true to herself that she sends ripples throughout her community that have others rising up to meet her wherever she lands. The fictional plot is not the only part of this film that creates ripples. Perhaps the storyline and unprecedented theme are a result of the female director and her intention to bring a more real script to life rather than striving for a box office seller.   Setting in motion a ripple in the movie world where women can be represented with more honesty and movies can tell real stories from a female perspective and experience.

Ripples are what many of us would like to think we are creating in the world and with the people around us by being true to ourselves.   Is there someone in your life right now who you associate with creating a ripple effect for you?  Possibly yourself?    In my writing, I have been generous with words towards my spouse but I often forget about the importance of the power of this face-to-face.  A while back he discovered a new recipe for a delicious lentil stew that was such a big hit with everyone in the house that we began to request it on a weekly basis. Probably because of the comfort it brings to each person who eats it, tasting like a warm hug.  As with most things, he puts his love into whatever he creates.   This little ripple he has orchestrated to send love and care to us,  but Mark is also my best example of making positive ripples in my life and wherever he goes.  He too shows up as himself in every situation and I have witnessed the effect this has on others.  His genuine interest in knowing someone else and discussing thoughts on just about any issue with an openness of heart makes most exhale deeply around him.  There is no pretense, just all of his imperfect self.   I used to think he should hold back a bit and let others take the lead but I now realize that would just not be who he is and he can be so confident with the way he shows up in the world that others feel that permission to do the same.   I share this with you, not to inflate my spouse, although that is probably a good thing too at times,   to extend the examples of the power of the ripple in nature, art, and our own personal lives and connections.     

We aren't always fortunate enough to witness the ripples and their effect.  We can become frustrated in our workplace, in parenting our children, and orchestrating bigger changes in our communities with policies, practices, and ways of support and we forget the powerful presence we have when we just bring ourselves and our respect to every situation.  When we share our joy and our ease, when we bring a new perspective,  refuse to listen to the chatter, and disallow the opinions of others to fuel our personal experiences. All too often the ripples that we intentionally or unintentionally create leave others smothered by our anger, drenched in our anguish, steeped in our fear, or unprocessed feelings or experiences. We have probably all been ambushed by a coworker, family member, or stranger whose energy or way of handling a situation has rippled into our own and if we are not mindful, we carry this home to our families or onto our next interaction. At times we are also responsible for sending this infamous ripple.

So many meaningful and powerful ripples are created through artistic expression. Poetry, prose, musical lyrics, paintings, and theatre.  It brings to mind the ripple of the music as well from the beloved Hollywood Stargirl with her rendition of Brian Wilson's, Love and Mercy. Written thirty-four years ago and it is still sending ripples like the one to my heart and life with the compelling lyrics bringing to light our need for more love and mercy. As Grace sings in the movie. "I was lying in my room and the news came on TV, A lotta people out there hurtin', And it really scares me. Love and mercy, that's what you need tonight. So, love and mercy to you and your friends tonight." 

 In this world of cancel culture, where we are tempted to call out everyone's missteps and mistakes or use individuals as scapegoats often for collective deeper societal issues and structures,  we need to revisit dear Brian Wilson's impassioned message and begin or continue to send out all the love and mercy we can muster with our own presence so the ripples we create encourage others to do the same.  Then as our metaphorical paddle dips into our own mirror of calm, we will release our individual ripple that collectively may become  part of the wave needed to bring higher vibrations of energy for all of us.