Standing Out

 

"We were not meant to fit into this world perfectly but to live in such a way that might forge a path all our own" Brianna Wiest

A few years ago there was an article written by a local journalist about a tree that was getting noticed on the horizon of the  Northside of the city.  It could be seen from one of the area bridges and from some places on the local university campus. The tree .with its massive stature was a white pine that stood alone in an area that had been clear-cut over a decade ago.  New growth had begun around the tree but did not stand out beside this majestic pine that was close to two hundred years old. The media consulted with a local forestry professor about the survival of the lone tree and found that the tree was probably what they call a legacy tree.  This particular type of tree is often left as a legacy tree because of its deep roots that allow them to survive intense weather storms.  The tree's role is to seed in the next generation. The legacy tree can often live into the next generation of forest and become an emergent tree that canopies the grown forest and it could live for another three hundred years while dominating the landscape. I remember reading this article and what I found most intriguing was the number of people who had taken note of this tree and wondered about it.  How its ability to stand out had so many putting a visit to this tree on their bucket lists, as well as the number of people who had already been to see it.   I am not sure that this tree's preference would have been to stand alone or become such an anomaly but the role of creating a whole new forest was an immense responsibility that it was fulfilling beautifully. The tree was standing out and would find a  new place to fit into again.

I started thinking about this tree after I attended the graduation ceremony of one of the local universities, St. Thomas.  The ceremony began with the bestowing of two honorary degrees.  One woman was a Passamaquoddy elder and teacher. During the ceremony, she shared her music in her mother tongue while drumming. When they talked of her notable contributions to music, they spoke of her as a song carrier and described her tedious work of going through all of the music of her ancestors that had been banned and was only available in New Brunswick archives. She was able to record all of the songs for her people to bring back their culture to them.  She was noted as saying," when you bring the songs back, you're going to bring the dances back. You're going to bring the people back. You're going to bring everything back."  Most notable to me is that this woman had witnessed the repression of her people for standing out culturally and now through her efforts was bringing back wholeness through song to her community.   The second woman to receive an honorary degree was Fredericton- based writer, educator, and historian who was dedicated to preserving the histories of  Black New Brunswickers. As did the first recipient, she has spent tireless hours with her research to locate and restore abandoned Black cemeteries. She has been featured as " one of thirty-three Black Canadians Making Change Now".As a black woman growing up in a small rural community, she too was using the ways that she had stood out and experienced racism,  to bring healing, celebration of culture, and belonging to future generations.   Not unlike the legacy tree.  There was also a lone graduate who was also notable at the ceremony.  She was receiving a bachelor of arts degree like everyone else but her story differs and puts her in a statistic category that stood out to me.  At fourteen years of age, she voluntarily left an unhealthy family situation and became a foster child.  She was in foster care for all of her formative years and is one of the 3%  of people who go through this system that successfully receive a degree in a secondary education program. She also used the ways that she stood out to find her community.  There is one last person who stood out for me at this ceremony and her name was Dr. Gloria Paul. My daughter received a prize in Environment and Society that was in Dr. Paul's name as part of her legacy after her passing in 2017.  I later learned that  Gloria too had received an honorary degree, in  2008, from St. Thomas for her longtime environmental and peace activism. Gloria had survived the London Blitz bombing air raid during World War II as a child and was very passionate about ending all war.   Gloria's experiences led her to create a  peaceful sanctuary for travelers to visit and stay in Hoyt, New Brunswick which she and her companion named, Pilgrim House. This was a Christian retreat that attracted many over the forty years that she lived and shared this space.  She, along with her long-time companion, Yvonne Mersereau, won the YMCA's Peace Medal in 2007 and was instrumental in the installation of the peace pole in our city. She could be seen even in her later years, at environmental rallys' for funding cuts to the environment and speaking about the environmental impact of war to university students. She was the voice for Agent Orange survivors in the Saint John River Valley and in Vietnam.  Gloria was also a psychiatric nurse,  a warm person who is quoted as" living her days towards giving birth to a world where peace was always possible". It would seem that she has become a legacy tree for many including my daughter who is like-minded and equally passionate.      

It is no coincidence that so many of the beautiful souls that stand out in this world have had their share of challenges.  As is evident in these stories, sometimes we stand out despite our wishes, actions or control, and other times we stand out as a result of them.   There are so many examples in nature of this.  The unbelievable struggles before the beauty emerges, and the butterfly stands out or the lotus plant who is surrounded by murky water and finds a way to bloom the most beautiful pink and white petalled flowers.  Like these examples in nature, we are led to our unique imprint on the world.  

I know that if I had been giving the Valedictorian speech that day, I would have chosen this theme of standing out like the legacy tree. I would have reminded the graduates not to shrink in situations of discomfort but to embrace standing out.  I would point out that their adversity may be the seeding for other generations.  The ways that they are different or struggle, may be what others are in need of seeing, noticing, witnessing, processing and as a result, learning from. That not fitting perfectly is necessary for growth and not in a toxic positivity way like the long-time narratives that your difficulties make you stronger, better. chosen, holy, or are chosen for you, because life sometimes just happens and it is what we are able to be and learn in spite of it at times. I would remind them that they are creating a road map for themselves and their life, a way through, and for all the ways that their story will have elements of adversity, it may be this same story that saves someone else's life, ignites their passion for justice, liberates them from their secrets or shame.   I would end with a plea that when they have forged that path all their own that they share it in community with their fellow life travelers so we can stand out in all the ways we do and fit in simultaneously.