A Sacred Pause

"Give yourself the permission to pause, to create sacred space,  -the space to consciously choose how you want to respond to any situation." Dr. Debra Reble

My oldest daughter finished university just days ago and will graduate in a few short weeks.  She survived two years of mostly online learning and classes and only recently stepped foot into a few live moments of class with her peers and professors.  The graduation will be in person where she will sit in a space with many others that have lived her similar experience, for the first time.  

After talking to her, sharing in her excitement and accomplishments,  thinking of the whirlwind of moments that have led to now, the stark contrast between her university experiences and my own, we realized that one thing remains the same. We were both recounting our feelings about living in the pause, the space between.  On one hand, she feels a sense of relief that the coursework is behind her, while at the same time feeling all the feels about an ending, new beginnings, and the pressure to move on to the next thing, in this case, working and preparing for her new program in the fall even though there hasn't yet been time to celebrate her accomplishments with ceremony. 

I recently did some art journaling and created a deck of action words with related questions to reflect on when the card was pulled.   It was a way of assisting myself in setting daily intentions and carrying out purposeful actions.  One of the words I included was pause.  We don't always think of this word as an action but as in the experience of my daughter, we do have to actively take that moment, that hour, day, week, month, or even sometimes longer to pause. In the natural world,  the best example of a necessary pause is sleep.  We need sleep to physically and mentally be rejuvenated and nourished.  This can't occur without the space that this natural pause creates for us. 

A pause is a temporary disengagement where we are no longer moving toward an end or goal.   We don't get many of these pauses in life unless we create them for ourselves.  Often when we pause or we hear of someone else doing so for a period of time,  we assume that something must be wrong or maybe we feel we aren't enough in the pause without the striving or planning.   This feeling of our own or the fear of the judgment of others can keep us moving further into a future that will take us on our way to somewhere else, meaning we will miss the opportunity to feel what it is to be in this space.  

The pause is there for a reason. It can give you a moment to grieve a loved one,  mark an end to something or the beginning of something else.   The pause allows you to embrace the celebration or joy of the moment. It makes space for laughter and playfulness.  The pause gives us the space often needed between noticing our thoughts and moving into action, between the inhale and the exhale of our breath which can bring so much clarity,  the recognizing of our feelings, and then choosing what we do with them. It can be the way in to feel what is wrong in our bodies, what is important in our relationships, our likes and dislikes, our growth and regressions, our longings, and our regret.  Without the pause, we just have behavior with no awareness. 

If I asked you to pause and take that moment to just exist, clearing the table of the mind, temporarily wiping away the attachments, fears, and ambition, would you sit like a stone or flitter frantically about? Would your mind stay clear or flood with a thousand shoulds? Could you stay in celebration of you, of the moment, of where you are now or would you reach for the ledge that would pull you to the next floor of the building? Would you feel like exclaiming, what's next, is this it, did I make it, fix it, break it?  Could you surrender the angst for your own praise and approval of you here and now, for the hug of a loved one or the remembrance of being enough?  

For my daughter, and anyone finding themselves in the space between, I hope you continue a practice of preparing for and living a life that honors the sacred pause, one where you are allowed to catch your breath, change directions, relish a moment,  an accomplishment and just take up space. I hope you can follow the lightness of your being and make choices and decisions that reflect who you are, how you feel,  and what you need in every pause and space with confidence and ease.  

For every person who feels themselves leaning into their future, may you stop as long as you need, to make room for truly living the life that is here in the now in this most sacred pause.