"His" story or "Our" Story

 A young man had recently left university as the demands of online learning were too intense. He was experiencing overwhelm and becoming depressed without being able to leave home, as his anxiety around getting COVID was intense. He found himself turning away from even connecting virtually and was not responding to friends.   One of his friends was very concerned so she created a care package which she delivered to his door and texted him to let him know as she knew he would not see her in person.   Weeks passed and she did not hear anything from her friend and her concern grew.  It was Valentine's day last year, and sitting in her living room with her family she saw someone walking up the street and entering the driveway.  The person did not knock at the door but the squeak of the mailbox was heard and then the young man was seen heading back where he had come.   She went to the mailbox to see that two valentine treats were there with a handwritten note that said he had been going through a difficult time and that her act of kindness had meant a lot to him.  Many people had stopped reaching out so it was so meaningful to him and he wanted to thank her and let her know how it affected him. The treat he said, was for her and her sister.

A young woman who had recently started a singing group for all abilities singers that identified with having a  disability had done so for her sister who didn't have a lot of social interaction and loved to sing.  The group started out with three people but it continued to grow and was gaining momentum when restrictions began in the last couple of years.  She was very concerned for her new friends so she decided to host the event in the backyard of her home. She socially distanced chairs in the yard and set up her technology under an open-air tent.   She served snacks with gloves and masks on and continued to create laughter and an opportunity to interact.  As restrictions tightened the group switched to online and she fumbled her way through, getting everyone connected to sing and talk.  She has recently been able to meet with a small group again but they continue to sing masked and share time together. 

These are two small stories that show the best of the human spirit and exemplify compassion, resilience, and grace that I have had the privilege to witness in my world and for each of these, there are a million more from each one of you. 

I was thinking about these stories this week and your stories and the way they become part of our recorded history.  History becomes the voices that get amplified. This led to a question for me. I am wondering what stories will we tell of this time?

Will the stories that get recorded include the marginalized populations?  My daughter was recently sharing with me the history of our 2SLGBTQIA+ population. She was talking about a particular man who had helped young people who were ostracized from their communities and families. He along with his team of five often provided a place to stay until they were able to find their own. They also operated a hotline for those needing support or a listening ear.  This same man is currently playing a role in helping to create historical records for the queer heritage initiative of New Brunswick.  It turns out that he was a former colleague and friend of mine and used to drive my husband to work every day for a couple of years when we were teaching in different schools.   I didn't know about his involvement in supporting his community or realize how much information had been left out of our history books.  I am overwhelmed at times by the misinformation or lack of information that leads people to think that neurodiversity and queerness did not exist in the past or that it has grown exponentially in recent years but it is no fault of their own as these stories and facts have just not been recorded. We are currently in February which is Black history month and it only makes sense that we need a month to spotlight Black history because again their voices and stories are missing from the recorded narratives.  I can remember a time as a young child when I thought that if you read it in a book it had to be true and the same goes for if it wasn't in a book, it must not have occurred.   

Last year I read the Book of Longing by Sue Monk Kidd. It is a fictional novel about the unrecorded life of the Christian figure, Jesus, and, is told from the perspective of his wife named Anne.  This is a fictional account of what life may have been like for Jesus leading up to the years of his disciples and crucifixion, but it is purposeful in making you think about the possibilities of the rest of the story or the story that didn't get recorded or the experiences or people that were left out of this story or all the stories that we call historical events.  The same year I read Cassandra Speaks by Elizabeth Lesser where she discusses how when women are the storytellers, the human story changes.    Both of these books have pushed the parameters of history and called the reader to see from a different vantage point or perspective. 

As with any events that span a longer period, the information gets muddled and the stories fade and new ones take the stage. Our state of mind and weariness with change can also cloud how we receive what is taking place around us as well.  But I am optimistic that we will be able to decipher the real history that needs to be written down, retold, and shared with our next generations, in our schools, and in our books.  These stories with be the best of the human spirit.  

They will not just exist as a shout-out of good news on Friday on our local radio station, but the nurses who snowshoed to work after a major storm shut down roads so they could relieve their overworked coworkers, will be documented and revered as part of a timeline of events.  The women who took in aging parents to protect their health and support their quality of life during difficult times will also be a part of the narrative. The people who buried parents, spouses, children, and siblings without proper funerals, will be heroes too.   The parents who supported online learning while working from home, the woman at the grocery check out who put her child in daycare every day and went to an uncertain level of safety for her health and that of her family will be mentioned.   

We can and will have an impact on how these stories are recorded and told when we buy the books and listen to the recounts.   We will need to be discerning and brave to make sure all the voices are represented, a level of honesty to embrace the reality that the pandemic impacted our indigenous communities more severely, and what was or wasn't done to change this.  We will need to be sure we share that when the world got still, we began to become more aware of our privilege and how we couldn't turn our heads to the continuing black oppression.  We will need to be able to account for how these historical events have led to change in our own personal lives and our larger communities.  

I am hoping that the stories of love, compassion, perseverance, truth, grace, and, strength are the historical go tos.    I am counting on history evolving into a change from the tired narratives I grew up with.  We get more of what we consume because there are always people analyzing what sells. Let's start consuming things that include stories we are all included in. That shows your worth and value as a contributor to things worth remembering.

My history book would start with the beautiful songs sung from the balconies for health care workers. In the middle would be the notes written on windows, the skating rinks and luges built for community use, the custodians who kept cleaning and keeping us safe, the endless self less days of health care workers, child care workers, parents, volunteers, and neighbors and it would conclude with everyone doing what they needed to do to keep everyone as safe as possible to move back into creating our new moments that will always include uncertainty, risk, joy, grief, and the best of the human spirit.