Dear Humanity

I guess you could say I have lived in a visceral world most of my life.   Everything coming from a place of deep feeling rather than intellect has been to my benefit but also to my detriment as well.  That is where discernment comes in as a practice but most days it is challenging. It comes as no surprise that my writing would reflect this as well. I write from my heart and not my head.  I get feelings about what needs to be said, what I need to write.  It can often feel like it isn't coming from me. This post felt like that and I was a skeptic at first. The idea kept coming back from a place of deep feeling. The feeling of how amazing it would be if we could use words to unburden others,  if I could see the five-year-old in the face of the angry, confrontational man I encountered a few weeks ago , if I  could recognize old wounds of my own and at the same time be able to help someone else do the same.  

The visceral me said I could do this with a letter.   I could write a love letter to humanity.  Not any love letter, not the love letter of romantic love or Valentine commercial phrases and poetry but a universal love and this love coming from none other than a kindergarten teacher.  So stay with me, maybe this is for you.  If we are being honest, who couldn't use a love letter right now?

Dear Humanity,

I think I have met you as a small child of 4, 5, or 6.  I recognize your eagerness to please and your awe for life.  I see you in the faces of all of the small children that have come into my care over the years. Your bright smile,  and openness, mixed with a bit of fear.  I know your good intentions and dreams. Your wish to be liked, even loved, to fit in, to accept all of yourself, to get the gold star.   I hear your laughter and endless questions. I remember your lightness of step and the ease with which you move and nourish your body without the imposed thoughts of any flaws.  How much you loved the outdoors and your wonder at the intense blue of the sky and the first snowfall. Your amazement in the changes of the seasons and special holidays that allow any kind of celebration and togetherness.  How you wanted to know everything and believed I had the key to all of the answers.  

Now that I hold you in my mind's eye and in the depth of my heart, I want to be completely honest and fully transparent. I really didn't have all the answers and deep down I knew and I hoped you might too, that you already had them and still do.  You just need to take a minute to remember, to believe in yourself and your knowing.

I want to apologize for all the times I moved too quickly or didn't respond to your needs in the moment as I could have.   How I didn't slow down enough for you to catch up or catch your breath. How I didn't always see you as you were. I hope you are slowing down and finding your pace and space now. You are still the greatest hope for the future and you need to take great care.

I want you to know I wish I had never said, don't cry, say sorry, or it's no big deal because your feelings mattered. Crying is just letting go of all that needs to be released and saying sorry when you don't mean it is just dismissing you and your experiences and it was a big deal to you at that moment and now is that nagging guilt that you carry that those little things shouldn't bother you. 

Now that we have cleared the air between us a bit, there are so many questions I still have for you and so many things I wish we had time to learn together.

Did you ever move through those challenges in your family of origin so that you would not continue those patterns in your own relationships and family? Did you find a sense of belonging that honors who you are as a person? Are you able to look at how your experiences may have created biases and are you able to own them?

I am not worried about you finding a career but have you found a place for your focus and attention that is helpful, expansive, and nurturing? Are you listening deeply and raising the voices of others? Are you living in reciprocity with nature in a way that heals you day to day ?  Are you caring for and loving yourself in ways that you are proud of?

As I said, I didn't have all the answers but I do have some lived truths that I would love to share. I want you to remember that nothing is permanent, everything is continually changing and flowing so I hope you find a way to do this as well. As much as I loved the five-year-old you, I want you to make adulthood look like something we should all desire so we are not clinging to childhood.

I want you to remember to ask others for their stories. People are difficult to dislike when they have the opportunity to remove their masks. Be true to your own story as well. There is no you and them, only us.  Our experiences will make it difficult to have a first good reaction to challenging circumstances or people. We are not responsible for this first reaction but we are always responsible for our second and third reactions. You will mess up, we all will, just don't stay in the mess.

Honor when you need to move forward and when you need to come to a full stop.  You will never be rewarded for your busyness and overworking so steal space and stillness into every day and allow creativity to seep in. Remember to explore your inner landscape as much as you explore the outer world. Both you and the world will be better for it.

Find what eases your tendencies in difficulty.  If it's long walks, yoga, meditation, or anything that gets you in the flow, keep coming back to it. It will help you find little pockets of yourself that you may have lost along the way. Don't be disillusioned by the shadow side of others and yourself. It is there in all of us but eighty percent of us on any given day are attempting to share our light and that was the same percent in our classroom back in your time there. 

Be reminded often of the magnitude of your own power and use it for kindness and love. 

I know you will receive my letter of love for what it is for you because once, you believed in unicorns, Santa, the Easter Bunny, the kindness of strangers, and yourself and I believe in you now.

With more love than you can imagine,

Your Kindergarten Teacher.